M1 - pt. 1, pt. 1

So after reading my last ten thousand posts, where I was shit-talking medicine, I realized its a really boring look. Why would you care if I hate it if you don't know WHY I hated it? Well... I'll try to break that down... maybe someone will find it interesting? If anything, it might help me process shit...

OK... so M1 (slang for year one of medical school)...

I showed up the first day wearing navy trousers, some vintage belt I got for a $1 at a thrift store, $2.50 Bass loafers (no socks), a threadbare brooks brother's pin strip shirt, and a cloth plaid tie. After spending about 20 hours in the mirror, I decided I was ready to meet the 40 students that I would spend the next for 4 years, and possibly the rest of my life, with!

I knew they would be different from my friends. I just didn't realize how fucking annoying they would be. However, the students were bearable... some of them even fun fun. The professors, however? Omg. If medicine wasn't medicine... they'd be in every new media outlet known to man, likely tabloid fodder for their crazy ass opinions or something? But in medicine secrets are kept. If you tell anyone about these things, you get punished via peripheral methods - TRUST.

Anyways, first day I tried to play along. I noticed the concerned stares the second I stepped off the bus. Not from my classmates but from the staff. You see, we were in this weird class that got 100% private scholarship for the full four years. We have to please these people - our donors. In Orlando this means you need to be... idk not me? (incidentally, when giving a thank you speech to my donors I was tackled off stage when I was asked how my first year was and I responded, "well, its hard!" Then the microphone was snatch from my hand and the guy in charge of the event told the half-dead crowd that I was kidding and that "I was actually a great student." Haha! I was a fucking stellar student... but achieving that was literally HARD! I HATE the idea that if you struggle and work hard to get good grades then something is wrong with you??? I think the opposite of that is called cheating... right?

OK, I'm reverting back to old topics. What else happened first year that ruined my life. OH!

Ok, so its like mid-way through first year and I find out that my mother lost her job as a nurse after having a radical hysterectomy due to cervical cancer. The procedure was done 'open' rather than laparoscopically. This meant her recovery was LONG and she couldn't return to work after the allotted time of leave (nurses push obese ppl around the hospital - which requires ab muscles and hers were slowly healing from being sliced in half - so her wonderful employer fired her).

I found out she had lost her house and her car had been repossed. She didn't want to tell me bc she was scared it would stress me out. Immediately I freaked out and went to our dead of students, Dr. Marcia Verduin. My goal was to ask for referral to support students dealing with these types of things.

I told her the situation: that I found out my mom was recovering from cancer, had nowhere to live, and that she'd be moving into the extra room in my apt indefinitely! I think my goal was to ask for study tips or something. Her response: Absolutely not! Apparently med students who live with their parents do worse academically. She told me that I definitely should not allow her to live with me. I replied... My MOTHER is homeless and recovering from cancer... she's moving in! I honestly couldn't have imagined not taking in my own mother and this woman says to leave her on the streets. I should have left the school at that exact moment.

Dr. Verduin warned that my grades and performance would slip. Instead... my grades improved during year 2. I made all A's my second year and got the highest grade in my class on the national bared exam. Dr. V never asked about my mom or how I was feeling. She actually never talked to me directly unless I requested a meeting. However, even if my grades had dropped, I wouldn't care bc I actually care about other ppl - ESPECIALLY MY FAMILY!

Mom and I worked together to get her a new job and a car within a year.

At the end of year 2 (still living with mom) I took step 1... and I killed it. Mom actually helped. Well sort of. She kept quite and drove me to the library while listening to prep notes. She refused to pick me up until the library closed! She was the best! What did Verduin do? IDK but apparently everyone else in my class trusted her (if you want sick STEP scores DO NOT LISTEN TO A PSYCHIATRIST).

The moral of the story is... people who dole out advice on academics and standardized exam performance are generally not the best sources. For example,  my class had crazy high MCAT scores and then basically everyone bombed STEP1. That is everyone except me. None of that matters now. But the key to doing well on standardized exams is to put in the work. Just do that. Read studentdoctorsnetwork.com, review regularly throughout year 2, take every practice exam, and block a month off for 12 hr/day for that month. Sucks but it determines the rest of your life.

Also, NEVER listen to faculty advice saying to ignore a family emergency to "study"... Or... don't take advice from someone who went into psychiatry (i.e. academic degenerates). Be nice to your family, work your ass off, and follow your gut... not some low rent psychiatrist (at least when it comes to studying). TRUST.

-RS

p.s. Plus this selfish, crazy psychiatrist had terrible hair and discolored teeth... so like... just beware of anyone with those characteristics and trust no one after serious vetting. And if you are one of those aforementioned un-trustable people... veneers, personal shoppers, dermatologists, and hair stylists - most ppl believe whatever pretty ppl say (even if its wrong). Also, EVERYONE, be nice, be informed, try hard, drop egos, and realize the better ppl around you are doing the better you look. DUH!

Holy Fuck

Well... I forgot about this "blogger" phase of my life (are bloggers even a thing anymore? idk.). However, I was horrified delighted when I found all of this content still existed. Since my last attempt at a post a million years ago things have definitely changed. For example, reading about my horror at the thought of turning 30 seems hilarious to me now, at 31. Reading me describe my education and experience in medical school, as if it was some sort of other-worldly accomplishment, is cringeworthy. Sorry about that.

Just FYI doctors are not gods, despite what television and dr. so-and-so may have led you to believe. In fact most are spectacularly dumb and, quite frankly, the stupidity is terrifying. Do not trust them. Before I delve into whatever it was that I was meaning to talk about in this post, I will give you some tips for visiting a doctor of any sorts:

1. PLAY DUMB - doctors, by the very nature of the culture that surrounds them, HATE to admit that anyone might be remotely intelligent (and yes, I realize by saying this I am committing an equal crime... but I don't really care). This means - NEVER EVER say you read something on the internet or use words that might make you sound like you may have passed the 4th grade. Seriously... I think there is some sort of app where you can check language to make sure a 4th grader can understand it. Get that if you happen to have a particularly voracious vocabulary.

2. DON'T BE DUMB - this is important. You must realize that most doctors are either complete idiots (I'm not exaggerating. You would be shocked by the people I've met along the way) OR really busy and need to be fed information the way they were taught in medical school (i.e. by really weird ppl who are paid to play fake patients and describe their symptoms in a way so methodic an ape could diagnose them). This means, if you actually know what is wrong with you, you should consult the internet or a library and read the list of symptoms required to diagnose whatever malady it is that you have. If you can, use a text like Bate's, there will usually be a description of how your basic idiotic patients will describe their symptoms... go with that. Trust.

Am I still making sense?

3. BE SHINY, PRETTY, & CLEAN - Clean. Clean. Clean! Clean fingernails. Clean hair. Clean clothes. Clean shoes. CLEAN. Get it? Generally most doctors secretly hate treating poor, dirty, fat people (It's the truth - of course they would never EVER admit this bc they're are God, remember? God loves everyone. But seriously, one day I will tell you the story about putting a catheter in a woman who was so obese she had to be wheeled out of the double doors on the back porch of her trailer). Anyways, if you are very clean, and look like a well-kept member of society, doctors will see you favorably. Just remember to play dumb. Basically you want to be like a freshly manicured lawn. Literally: beautiful and immaculate with the IQ of a blade of grass. Freshly cut grass, of course.

Basically, thats it I think? I forgot why I'm telling you all of this. OH! Because of the innumerable times I saw sweet old ladies and other generally intelligent ppl come in with some sort of knowledge of their symptoms or disease (which I found respectable) and then leave them in the exam room and hear my attending or resident immediately dismiss whatever they said and send them away. It's seriously scary and seriously true.

So anyways...

You may be wondering why I sound so bitter compared to my previous persona? I'll get into that later. Because, obviously I love talking about myself and all of my problems and giving baseless advice. In fact, I was inspired to write today because I was embarrassed by the amount of texts I was sending to random people. It was A LOT. GOD, I am so awful.

And I guess, since all of my previous posts were centered around pictures of my dumb head, some of you may be wondering what I look like now. Two-and-half years later. OK, fine. No one is wondering but whatever. Here I am. In the cigarette,YSL L'homme, febreeze scented, hungover 31-year-old flesh.

Thank god there is a very small likelihood anyone will ever see this - but somehow it is therapeutic for me and keeps me from annoying my friends and oversharing in group texts (much better to overshare on the internet for the whole world to see - right?). 

In other news, I got a bunch of cute glasses recently for like, retardedly cheap, on this website called Zenni. 

Looking back, I realize how idiotic I was to post where I got all of my thrift store clothes from. As if it really mattered since you couldn't go buy them somewhere yourself. Ugh, I sometimes I wonder if I am getting dumber or smarter with age? 

Ok, I'm tired. If you're wondering if I still live in brooklyn the answer is no. But manhattan, yes. If you're wondering if I work at the gap the answer is no - I might explain how that all panned out in a later post. However, I'm sure the only thing you are wondering if you've made it this far in my demented self-obsessed rant is where the fuck your ibuprofen/xanax is. 

BYE.

5 year run down: year 1

So this is from the first day of medical school. I was all bright eyed, happy, and energetic... like a dog excited on a car ride to the vet not knowing he's about to be neutered. Cute pic though.

Wearing: brooks brothers pinstripe oxford, thrifted plaid tie 

Then I got super stressed with school and stopped eating or seeing daylight during first year...

Wearing: Thrifted Le Tigre v-neck sweater  and paisley skinny tie, orange gingham button down - Penguin

Wearing: black canvas bomber jacket - ZARA, fierce cheekbones - my mom

Wearing: Post-final exam face, Grey polo shirt - Ralph Lauren, v-neck sweater - Le Tigre

Wearing: an inner tube, chest ribs

Wearing: nothing that matters, tracheal cartilages

These are all super boring outfits but I figured I'd just give an update on what was going on. I pretty much lost all interest in clothing because I was constantly being told that I was dressed inappropriately. I understand things like that are expected in professional fields but they took it too far... Like, I was told I was too thin for people to take me seriously, that my clothing was equivalent to a teenage girl wearing a half top and belly button ring, and, finally, that I should buy my clothes a size too big and have them starched extra heavy so I look fatter. Needless to say... I did not heed that egregious advice. Some people are just clueless and delusional regarding their authority to dole out fashion advice. This particular professor was seriously wearing a red sweater vest with a gold chain necklace and feathered hair... in JULY. In FLORIDA. 

I'm willing to do all sorts of things to succeed as long as they are logical... like studying 12 hours a day (even on weekends), doing research in my spare time, and volunteering. Whatever, fine. But, telling me I'm not going to be a good doctor because I'm too thin and then deducting points from my final grade? That's blatantly discriminatory and rude. I'd rather drop out and have an ounce of personal integrity than go along kissing ass... I know that's what you have to do in every career but if I'm going to be kissing ass it better be someone I respect and admire. Not some bozo from alligator farm medical school of florida. 

Also, just for the record, I didn't drop out because I wasn't doing well academically... the whole situation was very complicated, long, drawn-out and annoying. Here's my year 1 transcripts just for proof because I know I can seem very air headed and dumb so it might be hard to believe I could handle the academic rigor of med school... 

Sorry for the rant. I just have a lot of feelings, OK?! Gosh lol

bye loves xoxo

FML

So I chipped my tooth like a year ago and the other night while I was brushing my teeth the bonding fell out! UGHHH! Here is a photo of me looking like a disgusting ogre with no teeth. The next day I woke up and called every cosmetic dentist in northeast florida begging and pleading for one of them to take me that day and finally one had an opening. I was FREAKING OUT!




$200 later my tooth is fixed:



I mean I didn't really have a choice other than to fork over the money bc I could NOT go around with a fucking chipped tooth. Ugh, it was a MAJOR debacle and 24 hours of pure stress. I'm a little pissed bc there are plenty of other things I wanted to spend that money on...like these new board shorts we got in at work. I can't find a picture online but they're super short, plaid, and pleated!!!! Ugh... I guess I'll wait :(

Happy Friday :)

Slutastic

Ok, so I just want say that I know we look like hot messes and that's because it was like monsooning out so our hair was ruined. On another note I made this super slutty tank out of an old t-shirt I had. I am actually mortified that I wore it out after seeing the pictures lol. I think it's more of a day shirt. Ugh, I'm a disaster. I was like dying when I saw Lauren's sheer bodycon jumpsuit. She was wearing her Wang bootie sandals with this. It was out of control amazing.

In other news, I have to work from 9am to 11pm tomorrow and I am NOT happy about it. Ugh, so inconvenient to my social schedule.

Anyways, love you guys. Have a great weekend :)

Post-Run Fendi Hair

So I just got home from running, looked in the mirror, and died laughing. I know I've done a post about my ridiculous hair before but it's still funny to me. Haha, I'm such a nerd.

My Hair:






Anna Selezneva and Siri Tollerod in the Spring 2009 Fendi show:



Source: Style.com

Karl would be so proud.

In other news, I don't know what to wear tonight... hmpf?

On Genetics

This is my little brother. We're twins clearly, haha. I just can't believe how different we look and act. It's so funny to me that I wanted to document it.

I went to brunch for mothers day today. I'm planning to do an outfit post. Hope you guys are all have a wonderful mother's day!

Quick Outfit Post

I am about to go meet my friend Megan for sushi but I just wanted to document this outfit quickly bc I like it so much, haha. I didn't have time for a full on photo shoot but I'm also wearing my khaki shorts and fringe loafers. I look like a freak, basically.

Bye bitches :)

Current Obsessions

1. These two vintage tanks I just got from a little vintage store here in jax called Clothing Warehouse.






2. My new Crackberry World! Eeeek!





p.s. Sorry for the poor quality macbook photobooth pictures. I didn't feel like setting up my normal camera, haha.

p.p.s. I love you all my little sexmuffins :)

Holy Veronique

I would perform numerous unmentionables for these.

Hopefully when I'm finally able to afford these I will still have the body to wear them without scaring small children or being mistaken for a beached whale carcass.

I AM in fact ALIVE

Hey lovers! I just wanted to post something to let you guys know that I am alive. This is a photo a party photog took a few nights ago. I've been too busy to do a serious clownery post on my own, haha. I just spent last week looking for apts in orlando, visiting friends from college, volunteering, working, working out, and being a waste case lol. So my schedule has been pretty packed, haha.

On a side note, I was at the Sports Authority the other day buying new running shoes and the sales associate asked me if I was from Jacksonville. When I said that I was she was like "That's weird. You don't look like anyone here." LOL! Ugh, I'm clearly from Mars... thanks bitch lol

I've been thrifting up a storm lately and Lauren and I had a random photoshoot in an alley and on a roof the other night so if anything I can update with those pictures tomorrow.

I hope everyone is doing well and staying sexual.

later bitches :)

Friends in Low Placesssss

Blazer, Belt, Loafers: Vintage/Thrifted. Big Pocket Tee: Hanes. Shorts: The Gap. Watch: Timex.

These are morning after pictures so ignore my puffy face and the rats nest on my head, haha. I wore this out to karaoke last night for two of my friends birthdays. It was super fun. We had cake and jello shots. The cake was red velvet. I'll admit.. I did have one bite. It tasted very calorie dense, lol. SO DEMODE!

In other news, this past weekend the transmission blew in my car. What. The. EFF! Ugh, now I have to convince my parents to buy me another one. I mean they really don't have a choice. I can't exactly finance my own car. I work at Urban Outfitters, HELLO! Also, I'm starting medical school in august and I'm like forbidden to have a job during school bc honestly I won't have an ounce of spare time. UGH! Meanwhile, my disaster of a brother (who is 18) is on his fourth car. I'VE HAD MINE SINCE I WAS 16... I'm now 22! I swear to karl my parents are fucking retarded. I'm honestly the perfect child (besides the fact that I refer to my parents as fucking retards lol). Seriously, new parents ask me how my parents raised me all the time and I have to tell them I raised myself bc my parents are bozos. Ugh, maybe they'll come to their senses and realize that I just got a $200K scholarship to medical school (in a recession mind you!) and actually do something nice for me for once, jesus. Let us pray.

Lastly, Tom Ford pose:



bye loves :)

Another Night Owl Post

Hey lovers! So these are pictures from yet another night of debauchery. I have to get in as many of them as possible before I enter Dante's Inferno in august lol. My outfit isn't very special but Lauren and her roommate Nicole are looking pretty sexual if I do say so myself.

In other news, I apologize for just posting pictures of me and my friends being drunk disasters. It can't possibly be that stimulating...but then again my posts never really are lol. I know this sounds lame, but I've had no time on my hands recently bc I've been working out and running so much lately. Seriously I wake up go for a short run, go to the gym, go to work, come home, long run, and go to bed. It may sound a little extreme but honestly summer in florida is no fun if your a fat disastrous hot mess lol. Luckily I think it's finally starting to pay off. I'm not going to lie, my legs and abs are looking pretty fierce these days. Maybe by June I won't be mistaken for a manatee when I go out on the river or to the beach or something, haha.

Since I woke up semi-early today I'm going to try to start a rough draft of a real post since I do miss the feedback you guys give me. I feel like blogging makes me more conscious of my wardrobe and personal styling choices. Also, King Chic was nice enough to tag me in an award so I'm excited to talk about that as well.

P.S. Did you guys hear the rumors about Adriana Lima possibly being in the next Givenchy ads? WTF? Lauren and I were talking about it and we both agreed that if this rumor comes to fruition Hubert will roll over in his fucking grave! I don't care how good they turn out... Adriana is not fashion enough. As fake karl would say... SO DEMODE!

This is what I do at night... JESUS

Lauren's new Wangs are out of this worlddddd... and yeah those purple shoes are Kirkwoods. I literally DIED when I saw them.

That's all for now!

Happy Easter bitches!